


You Can Write Your Own Ending

by MooseSwoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Comes Out, Death, F/M, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Supportive Sam Winchester, Winchester - Freeform, feelings of worthlessness, there will be a happy ending I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27479716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseSwoose/pseuds/MooseSwoose
Summary: This is my ending of Supernatural. It is a cannon-compliant fic up to 15x18 of Supernatural. If you have not seen this episode yet: DO NOT READ. MAJOR SPOILERS!!Devastated by their huge loss, the remaining members of Team Free Will come up with a plan to take down the final big boss.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 17





	1. The Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Like many people, I was devastated by the finale. It has taken me a while, but I am finally ready to write my own ending for the show that I have loved for almost six years. I hope that I can bring you all some closure through my ideal ending. I'm not sure when this will get finished, but I hope soon. Enjoy!

The air in the room was still. There was an overbearing sense of emptiness throughout the room. Dean was sitting on the floor consumed by an overwhelming amount of emotions. Guilt, anger, and complete despair were the most prominent. Everything had happened so quickly. Dean didn’t want to believe what had just happened was real. He became desperate to wake up from this horrible nightmare that he was in. He shut his eyes tightly in hopes that when he opened them, Cas would be back. His eyelids forced his many tears to escape their prison. Dean opened his eyes. Due to a combination of closing his eyes tightly and many tears, everything was now blurry and there were black spots throughout his vision. Within a matter of seconds, his vision returned to normal, but he was still filled with denial of his situation. He shut his eyes again and opened them once more. With each forceful shut of his eyes he began to hyperventilate. “No… this can’t be real,” Dean whispered to himself. “Cas, come back,” Dean said as tears streamed down his face. “Please. I need you.” Dean was feeling everything and nothing simultaneously. That same sense of emptiness that was in the room could be felt in his chest: heartbreak. That is what Dean was feeling. He stared at the final place where Cas stood before he was absorbed by The Empty. Like most recent events that provoked a strong emotional response, Dean’s anger began to take over. “Bring him back,” he said softly. He began to repeat this phrase until his voice roared with rage “I SAID BRING HIM BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!” He knew that his demands wouldn’t be heard between the barrier that separated these two very different realms, but he had to try. He couldn’t give up on Cas that easily. A sense of disappointment in himself began to grow. Why didn’t he say anything to Cas? Cas poured his heart out to him and he couldn’t even say “I love you” back? Dean had just stood there staring at Cas like a deer in headlights. The thought began to sink in that that was the last time that Dean would see Cas alive. All these other years, Chuck had revived Castiel for reasons that are still unknown. Now that Chuck was the enemy, Amara and Billie were gone, and Jack was powerless, Dean knew that there would be no way to get Cas back this time. His soulmate was truly gone. Dean dropped his head into his hands and sobbed. He had loved Castiel for years and he was never able to summon the courage to tell him how he felt. Yet, here was Cas: moments before his death, he was able to be himself. Cas was brave, compassionate, loyal, and a gentle being: he was everything that Dean wanted to be. Dean couldn’t help replay all of the events in his mind that lead him up to this point. With each thought, his breath became faster and faster. It was his fault that Cas was dead. He led Cas into this death trap. “It should have been me, not him,” he said between rapid gasps for air. “Dammit Cas, why do you have to be so selfless.” 

Dean’s wallowing in grief and guilt was interrupted by a rhythmic vibration from his right pocket. Dean pulled out his phone and saw that Sam was calling. “Not now Sammy,” Dean thought to himself as he declined his brother’s call. Dean could barely begin to process what had just happened, he knew he wouldn’t be able to communicate the situation to his brother and Jack, not until he had processed it at least. The vibrations began again. Sam was trying again to get a hold of his brother. Once again, Dean declined his call. Sam took the hint and stopped calling, however, that didn’t stop him from trying to reach out to his brother. Dean’s phone chimed: he received a text message from Sam. 

(1) New message from Sam: Dean, I need to talk to you ASAP. Call me.

That message was never a good sign. Dean was left wondering what else could be wrong, but he had no desire to add on to the pile of negativity that he was already feeling. He wondered if whatever bad news Sam had would even phase him. He decided to ignore this text. Sam had no time to waste and it didn’t take long before he sent Dean another text.

(2) New messages from Sam: Please at least let me know that you’re okay. I’m worried about you. I need you to call me, something bad happened.

Dean’s suspicions were correct: something was wrong. He couldn’t bring himself to text Sam back. Dean knew that if he heard what the news would, it would be his breaking point. One final text came through Dean’s phone.

(3) New messages from Sam: Dean, I’m coming back to the bunker. I’ll see you soon.

“Oh great,” Dean thought to himself. He wanted to pull himself together, but shock had taken over. He couldn’t move his body. He sat there and waited for Sam to arrive. It wasn’t long before Dean heard the familiar creak of the old metal door opening. It was followed by two pairs of footsteps descending with a sense of urgency.

“Dean,” Sam called out. After no response, Sam called out again, but this time with more of a concerned tone.” Dean could hear the panic in his brother’s voice rising. He knew that he needed to let his brother know where he was.

“Sam. I’m in here,” Dean said in a monotone voice. It was clear that he was still in shock. Sam came rushing into the room and Jack followed suit. 

“Thank god you’re okay Dean. I was so worried about you. Why didn’t you answer your phone,” Sam inquired. Dean shrugged his shoulders and stared at his brother in silence. It was then that Sam looked around the room in search of his trenchcoated friend.

“Wait a minute. Dean? Where’s Cas,” Sam looked around frantically. He practically spun around trying to find one of his few very close friends. He was nowhere to be found, neither was Billie. It was then that it struck Sam. All the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. Sam didn’t need to know the specifics of the situation, his gut feeling was telling him that Cas did not survive. “Dean, Cas is dead isn’t he.” Dean nodded his head in agreement. Dean began to tear up again. This time Jack joined him. 

“What happened,” Jack asked, needing to get closure. Sam turned his head to Jack and then back to Dean. He was unsure of how Dean would handle this question. It was impossible to tell if Dean would remain calm or if he would explode into a rage. To Sam’s surprise, Dean responded calmly.

“The Empty took him. Billie was after me and he sacrificed himself for me,” he said, obviously replaying the events over in his head: his facial expressions said it all.

“Was it his deal,” Jack asked.

“H-how did you know,” Dean stuttered as he pieced together that Jack had somehow known about the deal. “When did you know about the deal. When did Cas tell you?!” 

“Shortly after I got back, but he made me keep it a secret,” Jack spoke softly. This response made the anger in Dean resurface once more. Sam could see the rage building in Dean’s eyes. Sam tensed up and prepared himself to lunge in front of Jack in case Dean sprung to his feet with intent to harm. Sam wished that he didn’t have to worry about this, but over the past few months, Dean has become increasingly unstable when angered.

“Why didn’t you tell us,” he bellowed, still sitting on the floor. “W-we could have done something. Found a way out of it like we always do,” his voice began to break again. Jack took a deep breath and spoke up again.

“I couldn’t betray Cas after what he had done for me. I really did think that he would have told you sooner. I’m sorry Dean.” Dean broke down into a sob again.

“Some promises are meant to be broken,” he whispered under his tears. Sam saw the wave of anger pass and he began to relax his muscles. He could tell that this whole situation was really affecting Dean. Sam knew he needed to talk to Dean one-on-one. 

“Jack, why don’t we let Dean calm down a little bit. I’m going to talk to him a little bit more, but I think it’s best that you leave him alone for now. I’ll check in with you in a few minutes,” Sam said, looking down at the young nephilim, also burdened with his fair share of troubles. 

“Okay,” Jack said softly. Sam placed his hand on Jack’s shoulder and gently smiled down at the boy. Sam knew that Jack needed this small action of gentleness. 

“Okay,” Sam said. He slowly ushered Jack out of the room. “I’ll come see you in a little bit. Hang tight.” Jack nodded in comprehension and he walked in the direction of his bedroom. Once Sam saw that Jack was out of sight, he calmly walked over to his brother and sat down across from him on the floor. The now sitting-cross-legged Sam opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it in realization that he didn’t know what he was going to say. He waited a few seconds, and then he opened his mouth again.

“Dean, I’m here for you,” he said staring at Dean with his soulful eyes. Dean looked back at Sam with pure distraught.

“You don’t need to take on my crap. You’ve got enough on your plate. Eileen is gone.” Sam began to tear up. He wanted to deal with his loss, but right now he needed to be the glue that held everyone together as Dean did for him for years. 

“You’re right, Eileen is gone, but you’re still my brother and you’re going through something. I need you to understand that I’m here for you.”

“I get that you’re here for me, but physically, why are you here? You should be with all the others.” This made Sam freeze. He knew that he had to break the news to Dean sometime. Sam couldn’t help but wonder if this piece of information would be the one thing that would push Dean over the edge and make him give up the great fight. Sam also considered the other scenario. If he didn’t tell Dean, he could very well lose his trust. Even though this would be a hard thing to tell him, it would be better for them in the long run.

“Dean…” he spoke hesitantly. “There is no one else. They’re all gone.”

“What do you mean? Did he kill all of the apocalypse world people already?”

“Yeah. Everyone else on the earth too except for you, me, Jack, and Ca-” Sam cut himself off. “Shit,” he thought to himself as he cringed. He tried to correct himself in a nonchalant way in hopes that Dean hadn’t noticed. He looked over to Dean, it was no use, there were already tears in his eyes again. Dean cleared his throat and regained his composure. He looked at his little brother with a look of complete devastation.

“Why us Sammy? Why us?” Sam wished he knew. 

“I don’t know. I want to say that there is a reason for everything, but I don’t think that that sentence is as reassuring anymore.” Sam sat there and rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger. He sat there with Dean for another minute in silence before he spoke up again. “I should probably go and check in on Jack. I’ll be out here if you need me.” Just as Sam started to get up, his brother called out to him.

“Wait! Sammy, please don’t leave yet,” Dean spoke through the lump in his throat. A tremble in Dean’s voice could be heard. Fresh tears were released one by one from Dean’s reddened eyes. Sam took notice of this and he slowly sat back down.

“Okay,” he said softly. Sam continued to observe his brother. Dean’s eyes darted from one side of the room to the other before he looked up and closed them. Dean took many deep breaths: his head remained pointed up towards the ceiling. Sam could see that his brother had something to say, but he was having a hard time getting the words out. Eventually, after one more deep breath, Dean finally spoke.

“I can’t stop replaying it in my head. Before he sacrificed himself, he told me that I-I changed him. The reason that he cared for you, Jack, and the world, was because of me.” Sam had a feeling of where this was going. Afterall, he had been here for these past 12 years, slowly watching the inseparable duo grow closer. For the sake of his brother, he decided to play dumb.

“You guys were very close friends, of course you’d have an influence on him,” he reassured his brother. Dean missed his chance to be honest with Cas, but he still had time to be honest with Sam. All these years of overcompensating and “no-chick-flick-moments'' were a direct result of his own internalized homophobia. His dad had ingrained it into his mind that anything but straight was wrong. Dean never understood how someone could be so close-minded. What was so wrong about loving another person? In this moment, what was reassuring for Dean is that he knew that Sam was different than their father. Yet, it didn’t make this moment any less scarier for him. For the first time in his life, he decided to let these walls that he had built up around his identity come crashing down.

“Sammy… it was more than that for him. He said something else. He told me that h-he loved me,” he stuttered. Sam was taken aback by this news. Of course it was no surprise that Cas was in love with Dean. He just wasn’t expecting Cas to be so direct. Sam continued with his act so that Dean didn’t feel like he was trying to pry information out of him.

“Of course he loved you. You were best friends.”

“No Sam,” Dean said firmly. He looked into his brother's eyes and clarified his previous statement. “Cas said it like he loved me.” Dean’s mouth trembled as those few words passed his lips. 

“How did you respond to that,” Sam asked.

“I didn’t,” after years and years of this being bottled up inside him, it was time for Dean to let it out. “I mean, I wanted to,” he said shakily. “I didn’t respond because I didn’t have time to tell him that I-I,” he hesitated. “That I-I love him too.” His eyes watered. “He died not knowing that I love him.” By now, the moment of courage had faded and he was drowning in panic. He couldn’t look Sam in the eyes. His heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to jump right out of his chest. Still not looking up at his brother, he began to speak again. “He’s gone. It’s my fault. I dragged him here. I should be dead.” While it hurt Sam to see how hard it was for Dean to be open about feelings for Cas, it hurt him even more to see how Dean was losing his will to live. Sam crawled towards Dean and sat down beside him. All he could do was wrap his arms around his brother. Touch starved, Dean caved into his brother's arms and he began to sob once more. After Dean’s crying had subsided Sam spoke up. 

“You need to stop blaming yourself. There is nothing that you could have said that would have changed his mind. Cas was incredibly stubborn. He was in control of his own choices. These were not easy choices, but he made them. He died because he loved you and he knew that your time here isn’t done.” That last sentence caught Dean’s attention.

“What if I’m done? Cas was the one thing that was real. You heard Chuck! Cas was the only angel who didn’t do what he was told. Hell, we can’t even escape Chuck’s control, but Cas did.” In that moment, Sam was scared of losing his brother to the darkness that was consuming him. Sam’s only shot to snap Dean out of this state was to remind his brother that he still needed his big brother’s help.

“Dean, I can’t do this fight without you. Please hold on a little longer. Let's try and find a solution, please?” Sam stared at his brother with his puppy-like eyes praying that this tactic wouldn’t fail after all these years. Dean sighed.

“Fine. I’ll help you look at the lore, maybe we missed something earlier.” A sense of relief washed over Sam. He knew that Dean still was not okay, but he still had a small willingness to fight. The two men stood up and headed towards the library. Once they entered the room with hundreds of books, Sam pulled a stack off of a shelf and handed them to Dean.

“Here start reading these,” he instructed. 

“And what will you do,” Dean wondered.

“I told Jack that I would come and check on him. I need to make sure that he’s alright too. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Sam said. Dean nodded in understanding and he took the top book off of the pile and began to flip through the pages. Sam looked at his brother and then he headed down the long corridor towards Jack’s room.


	2. You Are Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After talking with Dean, it is time for Sam to check in with Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is a bit of a shorter chapter today. I hope that you enjoy it!

Sam approached the door with purpose. He raised his hand and gently rapped on the wooden barrier with his knuckles. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah,” Jack mumbled. Sam twisted the doorknob and applied a small amount of force on the door. He opened it just enough so that he could slip into the room. He closed the door behind him. Before Sam got the opportunity to speak, Jack spoke up first.

“Is Dean still mad at me,” the young nephilim asked while laying on this bed.

“I’m not sure. To be fair, Dean is mad at everything right now. I wouldn’t take it too personally.

“It’s not just today. I don’t think he likes me. A few days ago I heard him say how I’m not family.” Sam’s heart broke. He had thought that with the death of Cas, Jack would be mourning only one father figure. It seems as if he had already been mourning the loss of a second fatherly figure. Someone as young as Jack shouldn’t have to deal with these burdens. It just isn’t fair. Then again, when is the life of a hunter ever fair. Sam sat down on Jack’s bed. He was now looking down at Jack.

“I’m sorry that you heard that. There is no reason that will make what Dean said okay. I do want you to know this though. Dean pushes himself away from everyone that he cares about because he thinks that maybe losing them will hurt less. Our world is falling apart and we don’t know what to do. Dean has convinced himself that we’re losing this fight and he is trying to brace himself in cases he loses you too. He’s trying to convince himself that you’re not family because he doesn’t want to go through the pain of losing his child. Our father never taught us how to deal with these emotions effectively. I want you to know that no matter what Dean says, he still cares about you,” Sam said. Jack slowly sat up and looked at Sam with a sense of understanding.

“Oh. That makes a lot of sense. I didn’t know that,” Jack said, clearly thinking back to all of his interactions with Dean. Sam could still see that Jack was in a lot of emotional pain.

“Jack, I know that we’re not always the best at communication. I want you to know that no matter what happens you are family,” Sam said this while looking directly into the young boy’s eyes. The words “thank you” barely had the time to escape Jack’s mouth before he threw his arms around Sam. Sam wrapped his arms around Jack and continued to hug him until Jack decided to pull away. Now that Sam had addressed the problem with Dean, he decided that it was time to talk about Cas.

“How are you holding up. You know, with Cas,” he inquired. Jack, who was now sitting completely upright with his legs hanging down over the edge of the bed facing his bedroom door, had a sense of emptiness on his face.

“It doesn’t feel real. It just feels like he’s gone on a hunt. It might feel more real if his body was here, but there’s nothing. I’m okay, I guess, right now. I think that it will start to hurt more later.” He looked up at Sam. “Does that make sense?”

“It makes a lot of sense. When it does start to hurt, please come talk to me, okay?”

“Okay.” There was a short pause in the conversation. Jack broke the silence first. “How are you feeling Sam?” In the midst of everything, Sam had forgotten about his own feelings.

“Well, I don’t know yet. I still haven’t processed everything. With Eileen, it doesn’t feel real either that she’s gone. Like Cas, her body was gone. I’m sad because I miss her and I don’t know if we’ll get her back. I’m mad because Chuck is purposefully taking away everyone that we know and love just to torture us. I’m even more mad that his plan is working.” Sam paused. “But I can’t let myself fall apart now. If I ever want to see her again, to see Cas, Jody, and Donna, I need to pull myself together and try and stop this. One part of me is begging me to throw in the towel, but I know that I need to always keep fighting. So that’s what I’m going to do. What about you Jack?”

“I want to help you. What can I do,” Jack asked with determination.

“Well, you can help me and Dean with reading through the lore. Maybe we missed something,” Sam said with hope. Jack agreed and the pair got up off of the bed and started to walk down the hallway to the library. As Sam and Jack approached the library, they found Dean sitting at the table with the phone to his ear. Through the speaker, they could hear Cas’s voice. Both Sam and Jack had their hopes up that maybe Cas was alive after all. That hope was almost instantly crushed when they realized that Dean was listening to Cas’s voice mail in order to hear his voice again. It was then that Dean noticed Sam and Jack approaching the table. He quickly turned off his phone and did not address what he had been doing. Instead he tried to deflect any questions before they were even asked. 

“I don’t even know where to begin with reading. There is so much,” he stated. Sam looked at the stack that he had previously handed Dean and he took a book off of the top.

“Well, it’s a good thing that you have two more people to help you with all this reading.” Jack followed Sam’s lead and also picked up a book. Soon, all of them were sitting down at the rectangular table absorbing all of the information that they could. Hours upon hours had passed. Inside the bunker it didn’t seem like it. There were no windows and therefore no way to see the sun as it changed it’s positions throughout the day. Inside the bunker, it was as if time stood still. There was a sudden break in their concentration. A high pitched noise began to ring. It grew louder and louder as it echoed throughout the many hallways of their home. As the intensity of the noise grew, the room began to shake. This could only mean one thing: something big was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took me so long to update, I was drowning in school work. Hopefully it won't take me as long to update the next chapter. To be notified when the next chapter is posted please follow me on Twitter @MooseSwooseArt.


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